


Part IX: Lacrimosa

by Fox



Series: Missa Discriminis [11]
Category: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-01-11
Updated: 2001-01-11
Packaged: 2017-10-02 20:58:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fox/pseuds/Fox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I am not now, nor have I ever been, George Lucas.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Part IX: Lacrimosa

**Author's Note:**

> I am not now, nor have I ever been, George Lucas.

Obi-Wan Kenobi had settled comfortably in his corner of the couch and was idly flipping through bands on the receiver when he heard the crash in the kitchen. He glanced up sharply and saw his bondmate leaned slightly over the counter, braced on his arms. "Qui-Gon?" Qui-Gon Jinn waved a reassuring hand, but immediately doubled over, colliding with the wall, bringing more pots noisily to the floor. "Qui-Gon!" Obi-Wan leapt from the couch and ran to Qui-Gon's side. He was curled up in a fetal ball, clearly in too much pain to writhe. His mouth was tense and open as he fought to breathe steadily. Both hands clutched at the left side of his chest. As Obi-Wan approached, Qui-Gon's eyes rolled to focus on him, tear-filled, helpless. "What is it?" Obi-Wan pulled Qui-Gon into his embrace. "You must tell me, love, or I can't help you. Don't try to speak, no ..." He switched to projecting his thoughts across their bond. Pity more people weren't telepathic. It was quite a handy skill, really, and certainly worth the nuisance. [[What is it?]]

Even Qui-Gon's thoughts were disjointed, affected by the pain. [[Don't know. ... Like fire. ... Can't breathe.]]

Obi-Wan bit back a curse. [[Your heart.]] Qui-Gon wasn't a young man by any standard, but he'd always been strong and fit. His heart couldn't turn against him now. [[Share the pain with me, Qui-Gon. Bleed it off.]] Obi-Wan squeezed tighter around Qui-Gon's shoulders.

[[No ...]]

[[Do it! If you can't walk, if you can't stand, I can't get you to the healers!]] For a brief, terrible moment, Obi-Wan remembered the last time he had begged Qui-Gon to hold on, to hold on until medical attention arrived, the last time he had sat on his knees with his lover in his arms as Qui-Gon gasped horribly for air. Seventeen years, and he felt it like it was yesterday. His throat ached. [[Qui-Gon, please!]]

[[Not ... my heart, Obi-Wan. I'm the picture of health.]] Qui-Gon tried to smile, but it looked more like a grimace. [[It's ... it's the damned scar.]]

[[You still need to see the healers. I can't carry you. Can you get up?]] Qui-Gon gulped a great breath and nodded. [[Take my hand.]] Qui-Gon steadied himself on Obi-Wan's shoulder and rose. [[And keep breathing.]]

"Thank you, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon croaked. "I think I should have fo ... forgotten."

"Healers," Obi-Wan reminded him, gently but urgently.

"Let's hurry."

"What could have caused this?" Obi-Wan asked, as they moved swiftly through the corridors.

"I wish I knew. Something ... something sinister," Qui-Gon replied, pausing to wince and rub at the scar through his tunics.

"Don't do that. You'll hurt yourself."

"Yes, Master." This time, the smile was whole and real. Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow, and Qui-Gon stuck his tongue out.

Obi-Wan could have wept with relief. "Perhaps we should see a mind-healer as well," he suggested. "They may have a different angle. I mean, something making a scar burn from the inside -- that can't be normal."

"Other people's old battle injuries twinge when the weather changes," Qui-Gon grumbled. He kept his arm slung over Obi-Wan's shoulder, but clearly felt immeasurably better. "I had to get the mystery wound."

"Qui! Obi! What is it?!" Sionnach apVess-Norill came tearing toward them from a side passage. Joma Phrel wasn't far behind her. "I could feel you were in pain. I almost choked."

"It's under control, Sha," Qui-Gon assured her smoothly, accepting her fierce hug. "My scar flared up, and I'm on my way to the healers to have them sort it out. Nothing to worry about."

"Something's got to be done about this, Jinn," Joma said. "I can't have your old war wound affecting my padawan that way."

"It's projection and reception, Knight Phrel," Qui-Gon retorted. "You know that the Force is stronger with Sionnach than it is with me. You'll need to teach her to dial down her perception."

"You couldn't maybe dial down your --"

"Joma," Obi-Wan broke in testily, "he's not Adept and he was in excruciating pain. Back off. Do someone else a favor for once." The argument would no doubt have continued had Obi-Wan not been distracted by another approaching figure. "This hallway is suddenly a central terminal," he muttered.

It was Amidala Naberrie Skywalker, and she was in considerable distress. "Knight Kenobi! Master Jinn! You've got to -- he's -- I -- " she broke off sobbing.

"'Dala? What's happened?" Sionnach stepped toward her, but quickly withdrew. Amidala was going wild. She tore at her hair and scratched at her skin and collapsed on the floor, wailing. "Amidala?" Sionnach said again, from a safer distance.

"I didn't -- he -- wouldn't -- it -- "

"Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan murmured, "why don't we take Amidala with us to the healers' wing?"

"NO!" Amidala cried. Obi-Wan hadn't realized she could hear him. She grabbed him by the tunics and spoke loudly and distinctly. "Not both of you," she said. "He needs your help!"

"Amidala," Obi-Wan said, gently placing his hands on her arms, "who needs our help? What has happened? What are you --"

"_Anakin!_" she wailed. "Anakin is -- he couldn't -- "

"Where is Anakin?" Obi-Wan asked sternly. "I shall go and help him, if you tell me where he is."

"The chancellor has him," Amidala whispered, plainly terrified, before collapsing into Obi-Wan's arms.

"Er ... well," Obi-Wan said, "Qui-Gon, as you're going to the healers anyway, perhaps you should take Amidala while I go after Anakin. I know he was your padawan, but I'm not the one with the injury that needs medical attention."

Qui-Gon smiled. "Quite right, love," he agreed. "Give her to me."

"Give her to me," Joma cut in. "We'll come with you, Jinn, and I'll float Amidala between us. Your bondmate asked me to do you a favor." She raised an eyebrow and grinned.

"Master," said Sionnach, "may I go with Obi-Wan instead of with you? If Ani is in danger, I mean."

"Certainly, Padawan," Joma nodded. "Page if you need me. Us."

Sionnach bowed to Joma, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon leaned in for a quick kiss, and the party split up. Obi-Wan wished Amidala had given them more information.

Obi-Wan and Sionnach didn't talk much on their way to the Senate building. It was clear that something had happened to Amidala, but neither of them was in a position to say what. Given Amidala's state, Obi-Wan wasn't sure whether something had also happened to Anakin. "Can you feel him?" Obi-Wan murmured.

Sionnach concentrated for a moment, then shook her head. "No," she said, "but I can't _not_ feel him either. I just -- I mean, I'd know if he was --" She swallowed once. Obi-Wan squeezed her shoulder to let her know she didn't have to say 'dead.' "So he seems to be just ... absent. You know?"

Obi-Wan did know, and he didn't like it. Few things could cause a Jedi to disappear from the Force. There were places where the Force itself seemed to live, where a person could go and be swallowed up in it, and others outside that place would be unable to detect him. Such places were full of organic life, though, and nearly always devoid of cities and technology. There was surely no such place on Coruscant. On the other hand, there were places where the Force was so unwelcome it couldn't get in, pockets of blankness, and as far as the Force was concerned people in such places did not exist. Jedi were necessarily less aware of these places than of the other, but even so, Obi-Wan knew that most of these pockets were to be found on remote worlds where the mistrust of Jedi was generations old.

Where, then, could Anakin be? Obi-Wan knew Sionnach was right: she'd be able to tell if Anakin were dead. Unlike the Force-rich places where a person could completely disappear, death claimed a Jedi by accepting his presence into the whole. In the first case, the individual was hidden by the Force; in the second, he joined it. Seeking the presence of a dead person in the Force would yield a sense of completeness; the dead Jedi would seem to be everywhere and nowhere, surrounding the living, barely distinguishable from the Force around him, like a person in a crowd, stepping forward but still hand in hand with the others on either side.

This was not the case here. Anakin had just disappeared. And whatever had made him disappear had set Amidala mad. And Palpatine was involved. Obi-Wan was stumped. The only thing to do, it seemed, was to ask Palpatine what had happened.

As Obi-Wan and Sionnach rounded the corner into Palpatine's corridor, the front door opened and Anakin stepped out. "Ani!" Sionnach cried, breaking into a run. Anakin jumped back, startled.

"Sion! Wait!" Obi-Wan called after her. "Sionnach!" Without thinking, he raised a hand to Force-pull her back towards him.

Anakin, too, had extended his hand. "Don't come any closer," he said. His voice sounded like sandpaper. Sionnach stopped abruptly. "Either of you," Anakin warned, shifting his gaze as Obi-Wan started to move to stand next to Sion. Obi-Wan thought he saw a trace of sadness in Anakin's eyes, but his voice was sure and his hand did not waver. "You should not have come here."

"Ani, what's going on?" Sionnach was bewildered. Obi-Wan admitted to himself that he felt the same. What in all the worlds was Anakin doing?

"I am not like you," Anakin said slowly and distinctly. "I never will be, so you should go."

"Anakin." Obi-Wan carefully made his voice as calm and unthreatening as possible. "Amidala said you needed our help."

"She was mistaken."

"Is there something you can't tell us? Is the chancellor listening where we can't see?"

"No, there is nothing," Anakin snarled. Obi-Wan took an involuntary step back. Anakin's voice softened; the sadness in his eyes seemed deeper. "Please, you must leave me. I am not of your Order any longer."

"Ani." Sionnach stamped her foot. "What are you _talking_ about? Amidala was going crazy, and she said you were in danger. Now tell us what's happening here!"

Anakin turned his head to look at her. "Amidala was in danger," he said. "I saved her. But now I cannot come back. Go!"

"I don't understand," Sionnach said. "What do you mean, you can't come back? You're not like us any more? You're leaving the Jedi?"

"I must."

"_Why?_ What have you done, turned to the Dark Side?" But Obi-Wan knew almost before Sionnach had spoken that Anakin would not reply -- wouldn't need to. His breath hitched with the beginnings of a sob; he suppressed it.

Anakin gazed evenly at Sionnach. He did not look away. "Oh, Ani, no," she whispered. "You didn't. Why? What could have --"

"Amidala was in danger," Anakin repeated stubbornly.

"-- been so terrible that you had to _turn?_ Ani, you can't mean it!" Sionnach started to step toward him, her hands outstretched.

"Don't come any closer!" Anakin barked. He lifted one hand, palm towards Sionnach, and she stopped and staggered backward as though there were a wall between them. Obi-Wan couldn't see her face, but the pain and disbelief radiating from her made his heart ache. He wanted to go to her and pull her into his arms, but he knew Anakin would stop him, too.

"Anakin, please," Sionnach begged. "Come back with us. You can't turn. You're not Dark."

"I will be," Anakin said. The resignation in his voice nearly brought Obi-Wan to his knees. "You don't know the power of the Dark Side."

Sionnach, too, sounded on the verge of tears. "Ani, _no,_" she pleaded. "You can't go. Come back."

Anakin looked at Sionnach, sadder than Obi-Wan had ever seen him. He extended a hand to keep her away. With all his might, though he knew it was useless, Obi-Wan tried to bring the Force to bear on Anakin's mind. _You will not turn,_ he thought desperately. _You will not embrace the Darkness. Come with us. Come back to the Light._ Anakin looked up at Obi-Wan but did not say a word. He turned to go back into Palpatine's quarters; the door shut behind him and the invisible walls fell.

Sionnach screamed. The barrier gone, she ran to the door and threw herself against it, howling madly. Obi-Wan disregarded his own tears; he ran to Sionnach and pulled her to her feet, but her legs wouldn't support her. He tried to help her walk, but she kept trying to turn and get back to Palpatine's door. She clung to the doorframe and then clawed at the wall, resisting Obi-Wan's direction. Finally, he scooped her up in his arms to carry her home; her eyes rolled back in her head and she went limp. Healers, then. As fast as he could run, Obi-Wan carried Sionnach to the shuttle bay, and then to the healers' wing. Everyone he met stood aside as he passed. Psychic shock was easily treatable; he should be able to get Qui-Gon to go in with him and pull Sionnach's mind out of the chaos he knew surrounded it. In point of fact, Qui-Gon would insist on it.

Nothing could have prepared Obi-Wan for the scene he found when he reached the healers' wing. He had never seen so many people in a hospital at one time. The healers themselves were scurrying about, trying to sort their patients according to some sort of system; others who were not patients were being asked to wait together in a holding area, something unheard of in a Jedi Temple healing area. The person responsible for bringing the patient to the healers, assumed to be bonded to the patient in some way -- as a master, padawan, mate, or even close friend -- normally sat with the patient for as long as he or she was able; everyone knew that the presence of a loved one was conducive to healing. Obi-Wan, still carrying Sionnach, carefully made his way through the crowd to a healer he knew to be a Master.

"Knight Kenobi," Master Dhoq said before Obi-Wan could speak. "Master Yoda said you'd be here soon. This would be Padawan apVess-Norill, then? I'll take her. Go on through there and --"

"Yes," Obi-Wan said. "She had a nasty shock, and she just fell --"

"I'm sure I know what happened to her," said Master Dhoq with what passed on his homeworld for a rueful smile. "We've had many patients in the past few minutes, as you can see, and they all have the same symptoms. We'll take good care of her. Go through there and see Master Yoda."

Without the option to refuse, Obi-Wan gave Sionnach to Master Dhoq and went through the door he had indicated. It led to a long, narrow room, the long walls of which were made of two-way mirror; there was another door in the opposite short wall. The room was two stories high, so through the mirrored walls Obi-Wan could see into perhaps two dozen rooms. In each was an unconscious Jedi, limp and lifeless like Sionnach, with two or three healers flitting around trying to make the patient comfortable. Master Yoda stood in the middle of the room, his eyes closed, his face turned to the ceiling. "Master Yoda?" Obi-Wan began -- but the little master raised one finger for silence. Obi-Wan stood impatiently and waited.

After only a moment more, Yoda lowered his head and spoke. "Thought so, I did," he said.

"Master?"

"Disturbance, there is, in the Force. Powerful disturbance. Most sensitive are affected."

"You mean --"

"Adepts, these patients are. And those who have had bonds with them." Master Yoda pointed to two adjoining rooms, where Morgesh Kwahl and Mace Windu lay. "Too great to contain. Adepts, and their masters and padawans. All but one." He paused and looked all around at the rooms. "All but one. Twenty-four new patients we have now, Obi-Wan," Master Yoda said, "and six more at branch temples. Ten Adepts, nineteen other Jedi, and Senator Amidala Naberrie Skywalker. But Knight Skywalker is not here."

"Knight Skywalker is gone, Master Yoda," Obi-Wan heard himself say. "He has turned to the Dark Side." Yoda closed his eyes and bowed his head. "I'm sorry," Obi-Wan continued, helplessly. "We --"

"Apologize _you_ must not!" Yoda snapped. "Know, we do, what caused the disturbance now. The Force is unhappy. Lost an ally it has. Sought to make its Adepts stronger, it did, but it did so too quickly. Help them we will. No," he said, "you owe the Force nothing. Skywalker is in the Force's debt, and the one who persuaded him."

"Chancellor Palpatine," Obi-Wan said.

"Yes. Unexpected this was. Amidala's memory shows us Palpatine using the Force for Dark purposes."

"Anakin said he turned to save her."

"To save her, yes, but more important," Yoda said bitterly. "To save her child."

Obi-Wan felt his jaw drop. "What?" Amidala was pregnant? "But, Master Yoda, if Anakin turned to save his own child, how can he be in the Force's debt? He hasn't embraced Darkness for its own sake --"

"Choice he had, and choice he made," Yoda thundered. "Turned, he did, to prevent child from growing up in Darkness; but the child would have had the chance to choose the Light. The child may yet grow up and turn, and then for what will be Anakin's sacrifice? Folly!"

Obi-Wan stood down. He looked around at the rooms, busy but silent, where so many Jedi lay still. He saw Qui-Gon, and had to look away. Another of Qui-Gon's apprentices had turned; the loss of Anakin would come to Qui-Gon as an awesome, terrible blow. He saw Joma, and stared for a moment. She had always been so strong -- he didn't think he'd ever seen her brought low. He saw the eldest of the Adepts -- tall, fair-haired Master Ral, normally so serene that in unconsciousness she simply looked horizontal. He saw the youngest of the Adepts, tiny Padawan Rhyi'nak, squirming a bit even as the healers tried to revive her, her webbed hands scrabbling to cover her large ears.

He had to be out of that observation room. He had to be someplace where he could hear the sounds and know the patients were being assisted. The long, narrow, prison-cell silence of the glassed-in room would drive him mad. Suddenly, he remembered something he could do. "Master Yoda, I know how to revive them," Obi-Wan said.

"Do you?"

"Yes, Master. Qui-Gon and I healed a child suffering from psychic backlash on Ulaan, about -- well, many years ago. I had intended to get him to help me with Sion, when I got here. I had no idea that --"

"A bonded pair, do you need?"

"Er ... no, I don't think so," Obi-Wan said. "We weren't even close to bonding at that time. Attuned, certainly, but any well-matched master/padawan pair ought to be able to do it."

"Fetch Depa, I will," Yoda said. "And Knight Ferriling and Padawan s'Deki. Join you Qui-Gon will. Heal them all, we can."

They moved toward the door that would lead them back to the admitting area, back to where the masters and padawans and bondmates and friends of the patients were waiting. "Master Yoda," Obi-Wan said, "may I sit with Qui-Gon until he wakes?"

"Good idea that is," Yoda said. "Why the healers have kept the others separated so long, I know not. Let those people in, they should. Come." He opened the door and spotted Master Dhoq. "Dhoq! Let those people in, you should."

"I beg your pardon?"

"The people waiting for news of your patients. Let them in to sit by their sides, you should."

"Well -- yes, Master Yoda, we should, but there are so many people. It's a question of keeping everything orderly and quiet."

"Jedi you are dealing with, Dhoq, not raucous schoolchildren. Let them in, you will. Tell them who is in which room." Dhoq bowed and went to speak to some of his staff, who in turn spoke to the waiting assembly. Yoda turned to Obi-Wan. "Find Depa I will, now, and Ferriling and s'Deki. Hurry back we will."

"Thank you, Master Yoda." Obi-Wan bowed low as Yoda departed with all the haste his little body could muster.

"I presume you'd like Master Jinn's room, then?" Master Dhoq said, returning.

"Please." Obi-Wan followed the healer around a corner and through another door. This one opened into a wide hallway lined with doors on either side. Dhoq led Obi-Wan to a room halfway down the corridor. "Could you also tell me where you've taken Padawan apVess-Norill?" Obi-Wan asked.

"She's just at the end of this hallway. On the right." Dhoq bowed and took his leave, and Obi-Wan went into Qui-Gon's room.

Qui-Gon lay motionless. His eyes did not flicker with the activity of dreams. When Obi-Wan forced himself to sit by the bedside and take Qui-Gon's hand in his, the hand remained limp and still. He might have been dead. Only the warmth of that hand told Obi-Wan for sure that Qui-Gon lived. He must have been breathing, but his breaths were too shallow to detect.

Obi-Wan sat holding Qui-Gon's hand to his own forehead for most of half an hour. Finally, Yoda returned. "Outside are Depa and the others," he said softly. "Wished to see my padawan, I did." Obi-Wan was surprised; he had not considered that Master Yoda, more or less the leader of all the Jedi, would be as personally affected by current events as he himself was, or Padawan s'Deki, or anyone else who cared for any of the victims. Qui-Gon had been Yoda's padawan -- and though many years had passed since, the master's devotion had evidently not dwindled.

Obi-Wan realized that of Master Yoda's more than fifty padawans, very likely not more than ten were still alive. What must it be, he thought, to be so long-lived? He helped Yoda up to stand on the mattress next to Qui-Gon's head, and tried respectfully not to listen to what the master had to say, though he was reluctant to move too far from Qui-Gon's side. "Coming for you, we are, my padawan," Yoda murmured. "Get you out of that maze, we will."

Yoda turned to face Obi-Wan. "Tell him, we should not, what has happened," he said, "until all the patients are revived. Tell the others, we should not, either."

"Master Yoda, they're going to need to know --"

"Tell them, I will, of a disturbance in the Force. Only when all are safe should we speak of Knight Skywalker's fate. Even greater shock, it will be, otherwise." The ancient master's voice trembled when he spoke. This was a plea, not a directive. Obi-Wan nodded once. "Then. Bring Depa inside we should."

Obi-Wan set Yoda on the floor again, and Yoda opened the door to Master Billaba, who lifted him into the pack on her back. Knight Ferriling and Padawan s'Deki were behind her; Inayouk looked frightened. "Ready are you, Knight Kenobi?" Yoda asked softly. Obi-Wan nodded and sat up straight, but still did not let go of Qui-Gon's hand. "Mark us, Knight Ferriling," Yoda said to the observers. "Let us begin, my padawan," he said to Master Billaba.

She took Qui-Gon's other hand in hers and closed her eyes. Yoda placed his hands on her shoulders and closed his own. At the same time, their presences in the Force changed; they did not grow or diminish, but rather seemed to shift, as a painted box shifts when a child turns it to look at the other side. Obi-Wan heard Qui-Gon's breath quicken; soon, the hand he held had curled around his and was squeezing tighter by the second. Finally, Yoda and Depa's presence turned slowly back around; at the instant they opened their eyes, Qui-Gon's eyes flew open and he gasped.

Obi-Wan pulled himself closer in a flash. "Welcome back," he murmured.

Qui-Gon looked at him, then around at the four others and back at Obi-Wan. "What the hell happened," he asked in a low voice.

"Psychic shock, love," Obi-Wan said. "How do you feel now?"

Qui-Gon blinked and considered this. Obi-Wan could practically see him cataloguing his body. "I feel ... fine," he said. "Should I?"

"Certainly. Come. More patients there are to revive," Yoda said. "Send instructions to branch temples I must."

"My master, what --"

"Revive the others we must. Come. Time to discuss this in committee there is not."

Qui-Gon turned to Obi-Wan. "Who are the --"

"Later, love," Obi-Wan said, helping Qui-Gon sit up and giving in to the temptation to kiss him gently. "You don't want Master Yoda to get cranky." He forced a smile.

The three pairs separated to revive their remaining comrades. Each patient had the same reaction as Qui-Gon: confusion, replaced by the realization that there was no pain of any sort. One by one, they went home with their masters and padawans and mates and friends, until only one patient was left.

"Well, this is silly," Joma said, as she and Yoda and Depa joined the group congregating outside Sionnach's door. "Let her wake up to a crowd this size. She'll think she's dying. I'm going in."

"Wait, Joma," Obi-Wan said. "You can't go into her mind and get her out by yourself. You need your padawan -- impossible, in this case, by definition -- or your master, and I believe he's returned home. Qui-Gon and I will go in."

Inayouk spoke up. "I'd like to be there, as well."

"She's my padawan."

"She's my girlfriend."

"I swore to do everything in my power to protect her," Qui-Gon insisted, "so Obi-Wan and I will be the ones to revive her. But I see no reason why you both shouldn't come in with us. Four isn't much of a crowd, if the rest of you don't mind? My master? Depa? Knight Ferriling?"

The other three nodded their assent, and Obi-Wan followed Qui-Gon, Inayouk and Joma into the sickroom. "I know what's going on, Kenobi," Joma hissed. "I know all these patients are Adepts or one bond away. Naturally, when there's a disturbance, we'll be the hardest hit. Billaba noticed it, too, but she didn't think anything of it. It didn't register with her how _many_ of us there are. This is it, isn't it --"

"Shush, Joma," Obi-Wan whispered, pulling her back toward the door. "Not right now." He went to the bedside, took Sionnach's hand in his, and leaned back into Qui-Gon's embrace. Joma stepped over to join Inayouk at Sion's other side, but looked suspiciously at him all the same. On Qui-Gon's signal, Obi-Wan closed his eyes and dropped into Sionnach's mind.

The place was a wreck. Sionnach's psychic shock was unlike any of the other patients'. Privately, Obi-Wan knew that this was because she had it first-hand, but he took care not to share this with Qui-Gon. Master Yoda was right: get everyone conscious and safe before discussing details.

Normally, psychic shock occurred when a subject's shields prevented him or her from releasing psychic backlash from a disturbance in the Force. Obi-Wan had first seen it on Ulaan, in a little girl who was slightly Force-sensitive but didn't know it; she was entirely unaware of her shields, and he and Qui-Gon had found her mind-core cowering in the center of a battery of Force activity that she was inadvertently keeping inside. The patients they had seen today were more skilled in using the Force, obviously, but the assault on them had been far greater. The Force had, as Yoda noted, tried to make them stronger too quickly; everyone who had felt the disturbance had shielded up instantly, but for the Adepts and those bonded to them it had been too late. Yoda had spoken of getting Qui-Gon out of a maze; he could have unshielded his mind to let the backlash out, but only if he could have found his way to where the shields were. When Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had revived Master Ral, they had found her smothered in sensations, too many for her to push away from underneath, so she couldn't reach to bring her shields down. They had pulled the heap away, so there was noise and terror in the air, but then the three of them took the shields down together and Master Ral awoke.

Sionnach, though, was contributing to the chaos inside her mind. Unlike the other patients, who were lost or confused or overwhelmed but trying to get out, or even the little Ulaant girl, who had been afraid, Sionnach was frenzied. The noise in her mind was wild, and she was adding to it by the second. Obi-Wan realized that when she had gone limp in his arms, her shields had not only been protecting her from the Force-onslaught; they had been protecting the rest of the Order from her uncontrolled emotions. This was going to be hairy.

Glancing mentally at Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan saw a hazy vision of M'Liskatha Vess, and understood. They must try to get control of her consciousness for her, as they had done when her mother had lain dying of a head injury. //Sionnach,// Obi-Wan said. //Sionnach, my firefly, can you hear us? Focus on us?//

Sionnach looked back at him from a memory in which she rode on Anakin's shoulders. //Five more minutes,// she said sleepily, the vision shifting to a scene of Anakin waking her from a nap.

//We need you to focus on _now,_ Sha,// Qui-Gon said firmly. //Can you put the memories to one side and help us get your shields down? It's the only way you can wake up.//

Sionnach did not reply; the visions and emotions whirled about and collided. It was quite dizzying. Through the hysteria, Obi-Wan thought he saw a hazy blue figure. It drifted in and out of sight, but just as he was wondering if he had imagined it, it wafted closer and snapped into focus very near him. Dorim apNorill smiled at them both and reached out a hand to -- Obi-Wan gave up trying to believe his eyes -- to help Liskat coalesce next to him. //She's a handful, our girl, isn't she?// he chuckled. //Come on. We'll help you.//

Obi-Wan looked at Qui-Gon, who shrugged. //They're with the Force,// Qui-Gon pointed out. //And they're every bit as real in Sion's mind as we are. Better join them.// He set to tearing down Sionnach's shield-wall with his mental hands. Obi-Wan, Dor and Liskat did the same. The trouble, as Obi-Wan had noticed before, was that Sionnach kept creating more noise, so there was no appreciable reduction in her mind-chaos as the shields came down.

After only a few moments, Liskat looked over to them. //You'd better go,// she said. //You'll want to be there when she wakes up.//

And suddenly, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were on their way out of Sionnach's mind, turning slowly back to face the front, watching the noisy, frightening contents of the girl's thoughts whirl rapidly around them in the other direction, and Obi-Wan opened his eyes.

Sionnach's hand clenched painfully on his; she gasped sharply; and she opened her eyes and screamed.

And kept on screaming. She looked wildly around the room, crying out as if she were in physical pain. She covered her face, yanked her hand out of Obi-Wan's, and flinched away from everyone in the room. Obi-Wan staggered as the release of her emotions hit him. "Get this place shielded!" he yelled, immediately aware of a sort of filter around the walls, no doubt erected by Master Billaba. It would let the buildup out, but slowly, so nobody was hurt again. Qui-Gon and Joma had each seized one of Sionnach's hands, and she squirmed violently and kicked her legs, wailing. "Inayouk, help me," Obi-Wan directed. He and the boy grabbed at Sionnach's feet, and got control of them with little struggle.

"Share it," Joma shouted. "The four of us together can handle her output if we split it up. It won't be pleasant, but we can help her." All three men nodded. "Go!"

Obi-Wan felt what he supposed was a fourth of Sionnach's agony course through him. Combined with his own -- for he, of course, knew what was causing her grief -- it nearly knocked him down. His stomach turned and his heart clenched, feeling for all the worlds like a wet rag wrung out to dry. He could almost feel the scratch marks on his chest where an unseen hand had clawed his heart out. Sympathetically, his throat felt raw from sobbing. His limbs trembled.

Slowly, Sionnach quieted. After several minutes, Joma looked up and nodded. Inayouk and Obi-Wan let go of her ankles, and Qui-Gon released her hand. Joma shifted her grip and came to sit on the edge of the bed, softly stroking her padawan's forehead. Sionnach curled up next to her and wept.

Behind them, the door opened. Master Yoda, Depa Billaba, and Kustin Ferriling came in cautiously. Ferriling went to his padawan and hugged him. Obi-Wan was sure he was sharing energy or strength. "Everyone okay in here?" Depa asked.

"We're all fine," Qui-Gon said. "Joma?"

Joma looked up at him, plainly stunned that he had deferred to her assessment of Sionnach. "She'll be all right," she told Master Yoda, rocking Sion in her arms. "She'll survive."

"What could have caused such a reaction?" Inayouk asked. "None of the other patients took the psychic shock so hard."

"Worse, Padawan apVess-Norill's shock was," Yoda said. "And worse, everyone's will be, if careless we become." The lights in the room flickered almost imperceptibly. Obi-Wan glanced up at them, but was the only one to do so; everyone else was waiting to hear what Yoda said next. "Great disturbance, there has been, in the Force." Obi-Wan wrapped his arms tightly around Qui-Gon. "Lost one of our own, we have, to the Dark Side." Everyone in the room knew instantly of whom Yoda spoke. Obi-Wan could tell by the way they hung their heads and shut their eyes. Qui-Gon sat down heavily. There were four people in the Order whose loss could have affected Sionnach as it had, and three of them were at her bedside.

Nevertheless, Qui-Gon asked. "My master," he said, his voice harsh and pained. "Who is it who has turned?" He reached back over his shoulder; Obi-Wan clasped his hand and squeezed.

"Sorry, I am, Qui-Gon," Yoda said, "but know you must who it is. The Dark Side has claimed Anakin Skywalker."

Qui-Gon drew a pained breath as though he'd been burned with a branding-iron. His hand clenched around Obi-Wan's, hard; if Obi-Wan hadn't been ready for it, the grip could have cracked a bone. His back shook gently with the silent sobs of the heartbroken. Obi-Wan was sure he was the only one who could see the blue figure of Dorim step up next to him and lay its hand on Qui-Gon's shoulder.

**Author's Note:**

> So I was talking to Terri Hamill, in the summer of 2000, and railing about the persistent nugget of fanon in TPM that seemed to maintain that if Qui-Gon Jinn had survived, and if he had trained Anakin Skywalker, Anakin would never have turned and All This would never have happened. In the first place, of course, All This could have happened even if Anakin hadn't turned; but in the second place, as much as I like Qui-Gon Jinn, the canonization of the guy had reached truly absurd levels and was, frankly, really annoying. I determined to write something where Qui-Gon survived and Anakin turned anyway.
> 
> That was really the only goal, at the beginning. We threw some ideas around, and I decided to use the Code Breakers universe, because there were some handy-dandy ready-to-use original characters that I knew I'd find helpful. In particular, Terri's Joma Phrel really doesn't get along with Qui-Gon Jinn. She's a useful person to have around sometimes. The orphaned red-haired child, Sionnach (which, yes, it means "fox" in Gaelic -- Terri named her, and it had nothing to do with me), is good to have around to explain things to, and there's the added challenge of not making her a Precious Kidfic Darling. In general, the whole project has been an exercise in taking one or two steps from canon, moving forward for a bit, and then stepping back in line.
> 
> The title, _Missa Discriminis_, translates to English as "Critical Mass" -- I don't normally go in for puns, but I decided to consider this one a double meaning and let it go. :-) Each of the chapters has a title taken from the Requiem Mass, so the whole thing is a Mass _about_ critical mass, I suppose.
> 
> I completed the first arc in January of 2001. My plan has been to have three arcs, ultimately, finishing up at the same time as _Return of the Jedi_ ends. This is proving to be somewhat difficult, but there are plot-milestones in my head -- I haven't put this thing to rest yet.
> 
> For most of the original characters, I have good ideas of what they look like but no specific people in mind to play them. I can report, however, that Jendea Ral is played by Ms. Vanessa Redgrave. :-)


End file.
